The title is a line from the song أغار من قلبي for محمد عبد الوهاب
The way we look at Love is shaped through generations of conditioning of how a relationship is supposed to be. We watch TV, cartoons, sci-fi… We read magazines and see picture, We read books and watch commercials… all revolving around the idea of the two being in a state of ecstasy and drunk on love! And that’s how we have come to believe that that image is Love. We over romanticize these practices. No one teaches us that marriage is based on paying the bills, getting groceries, doing the laundry and fighting over who cooks and who does the dishes! No song is ever sung praising how romantic fighting over who pays the internet bill this month?!!! Or who’s turn to stay home this weekend with the kids! No movie is ever made romanticizing how frustrated a husband or a wife is! All we know about love and what we expect in a marriage are those long talks on the phone, or that long discussion about a world-issue!
But … what most of us fail to understand, and they’re not to be blamed, is the fact that married people spend %90 of their time planning their chores. And these daily routines and bills are signs of a successful love relationship and not the end of it. These chores and compromises are a huge part of the “settling down” we do when we say I do!
I can’t get over how ready we are to receive the events around us on a very personal level. It would ruin our day, friendships and sometimes relationships! When are we going to say “enough” with the culture of snowflakes. Enough with being so self absorbed, we can’t even see beyond the reach of our noses. Not every thing happening around us is about us; somehow triggering some kinds of emotional reaction. It is not necessary to react in situations we’re not involved in. It’s okay to walk away and tell ourselves “hey maybe I don’t have to take everything around me so personally, especially when it’s obviously isn’t about me whatso-goddamn-ever”!
The title is a line from a poem by سعيد بن أحمد البوسعيدي
In the beginning of his book Mere Christianity, C. S. Lewis defines a human natural characteristic: our drive to be good, just and moral. He calls it the Natural Moral Law. He illustrates a comparison between what the ancient scholars, and what modern science say about natural laws. The ancient focused on the metaphysics, while today’s scientists explored the visible world and its physics. But unlike the laws of science, the natural moral law, though wired into our beings, it can be broken, abandoned and manipulated. However, we cannot escape the “desire” within ourselves to recognize and follow it. He gives an example of how we are constantly trying to justify all the instances when we strayed. We never just say “yes we should’ve lied or cheated to begin with”. We always try to justify why we lied or cheated within those moral law frames. We try so hard to stretch the laws to make our wrongdoings fit somehow. He highlights two important aspects of human behavior regarding the moral law. We know it. But we never follow it!
Early November of this year, I was contacted to showcase my art by the organizers of Chocolate & Art, an underground show based in Los Angeles. The organization raises awareness for the nonprofit Artists for Trauma. They found me on Instagram, and asked me to be part of their two-day event in San Francisco. They encouraged me to contribute to covering the charges of the event and the rent. So I happily paid my dues. I participated with eight paintings. The event took place at the SomArts Cultural Center on Brannan St on Thursday Dec 12, and Friday Dec 13. The venue was huge, with a high ceiling. It was well-lit. Although the crowd was expected to be 1500+, it never felt too crowded. The art was spaced and presented well. There were free chocolate fondus with strawberries, marshmallows and Oreos, hence the name. Many artists did their art live, including body painting. Local musicians & bands played a mix of surf and psychedelic music.
Two days before the event I asked my Instagram & Twitter followers to vote on whether or not pink heels suit a solid plain black dress. Most of them voted yes! I was so stressed out on what to wear. David bought me a little cute classy black dress. But I didn’t want to wear black heels with it! It felt too formal for an underground event, and wearing sneakers would feel like I am at school teaching! So I decided to buy new pink heels!
On Thursday, I worked at school. I really wanted to dress up for my event, but I woke up feeling exhausted already! I was stressed out. So I decided to give myself break and dress up only on Friday! After school, I curled my hair at the Drybar. But then my hair was too overdressed for my pink prison jumpsuit! So, I went shopping for a dress & heels, headed to David’s Holiday party, then off to the venue. I was exhausted. So, I only labelled my art, spent an hour and headed back home. I didn’t expect anyone from my side to show up on Thursday! The big night was the day after.
Friday the 13th is the night I expected my people to show up, and they did! I took the day off. I went to Salon Nine to get my hair done. I wore my newly bought Ted Baker heels, I went to my work’s holiday party later on. At 8:00 PM, my coworkers and I headed to the cultural center. This time, I spent the whole night surrounded by my people. I appreciate the fact they took time and came for me. They got to see my art and praised it. I eventually sold two paintings! I had fun, they had fun which was the most important! My husband was by my side, and my family were in the heart. I met many local artists. I listened to them talking about their work passionately, heard their stories and learned about their inspirations. Overall, it was a successful event. Many of us just wanted to enjoy good art and chocolate!
P.S. Always bring a pair of sneakers to wherever you’re wearing heels! They’ll come in handy!
This event wouldn’t have happened without the help & support of the following:
My family, especially, Dina Sofi
My husband, David M. Sosebee Jr.
Chocolate & Art, especially, Danilo Santos
Anna Schmidt & her boyfriend Danny
Abigail Curtiz & her husband, Tristin
Those who do not thank people, do not thank the Lord.