The title is a line from the song في مدرسة الحب by كاظم الساهر
Tag Archives: relationships
“We were free like water; flowing down under the warmth of the Sun”
The title is a line from the song “Ever the Same” by Rob Thomas
“The more you change the less you feel”
The title is a line from the song “Tonight Tonight” by The Smashing Pumpkins
“Cause if you’re not really here; I don’t wanna be either”
UNAVAILABLE
The title is a line from the song “Black & Gold” by Sam Sparrow
“when the sun falls into the sea …
UNAVAILABLE
when all is gone
will Love abide her suicide
when all is gone?
The title is a line from the song “When All Is Gone” by Aaron Embry
“I just wanna feel… the home that I live in”
NOT AVAILABLE FOR SALE
The title is a line from the song “Feel” by Robbie Williams
If he truly knew you, he would have known that you didn’t just change out of nothing. He would have know you’re tired; that you have went through difficulties. You have paid the price to change; pieces of you! All he knows that you have become a different person; he knows how to blame you; and he knows how to deny you the right to change; that’s all he’s got for you!
“Come back, have faith”
The title is a line from the song ” Soon” by My Bloody Valentine.
Some times, the people we’re involved with don’t just leave us, or simply cheat on us, but they leave or cheat for someone else; a competitor comes along to play the monstrous antagonist in our fairytale. Knocking down that beautiful life we have painted in our heads. The agony raises one fundamental question that persists, some times, throughout our lives; What does the other woman / man possesses that we don’t; What do we lack that they don’t? Let’s just say one thing, that question will never be answered. You might go through a lot of discussions with the person who hurt you, they will never provide a sufficient answer. You might gossip and vent to your family and friends, you might ever reach out to the other woman / man, and they themselves can’t answer that question for you. You’re looking for relief.
Part of this pain is based on a crucial human characteristic; we know ourselves from within. We know too many specific details and exciting secrets about ourselves. But what we know about people is only their exterior. We only know what they choose to reveal; which, most of the time, is nothing but a shimmering picture they paint for themselves; a pretty face and a seductive personality! No one, after all, would show people the dark side, not even you! As a result, we may feel that the other woman / man, whom we were dumped for, or cheated on with (and whom we stalk on social networks), is an extraordinary person at all level; we’re shy, they’re not. We’re messy, they’re organized. We’re boring, but they like concerts, jokes and smiles. Our friends and family might reassure us, with good intentions, and remind us of our wit, knowledge, or awesomeness. Or they might remind us of how much they enjoy our company. However, this might not be the best way to get over the feeling of abandonment for someone else; someone whom we think is better than us.
To get over the pain of feeling worthless against the other woman / man, we must realize that every person is ordinary to a great extent. No such person is “the perfect one”. There are only differences between us. But eventually, we all share one thing, we all are ordinary people. And then we might also realize that the person who left for someone else is also as ordinary. Our failures in love, and our flaws might be real, very real. But the picture we know and the picture we have about our “competition” leans towards total ignorance. We know nothing about their flaws. What reaches us about their lives is only what they choose to share on their Instagram or Twitter! Getting over the pain can’t be achieved through denying the fact that we have a less awesome side, but it requires not to be hostile towards ourselves in picturing the other woman / man. Therefor, we get a more balanced picture of who they are, and how humans are alike.
Naturally, the “competition” has some qualities we lack, perhaps a better looking body, or a more satisfying job. Maybe they’re better educated or more interesting. Maybe they share more interests than us! But at the same time, guaranteed, they have a great number of flaws, the same way we do. This should provide some ease; Not because we know these flaws, but because we know that people are generally flawed. The general rule states that everyone we encounter must possess some quality or behavior that will disappoint us. No matter how much the other man / woman is attractive, they will disappoint that who disappointed us.
When our loved ones decided to jump to another relationship or cheat on us, they didn’t knock knock knock on heaven’s doors. They only replaced one flawed relationship with another. We should never torture ourselves with the idea that they would be unconditionally happy with the other! The lesson we should learn is that we’re not the only ones flawed, or damaged goods. But we were dumped or cheated on for a delusion that a person is always happier when in another relationship, but in fact, every human relationship is especially sad, and is uniquely beautiful.
I translated (with addition) the following tweets
“I sailed an ocean, unsettled ocean Through restful waters and deep commotion”
The title is a line from the song “Sail on Sailor” by The Beach Boys
Being so close to reach the 5-year-mark in my relationship with David, I have come to realize that we both have battled so much. We fought demons in our heads. We’ve struggled to bridge two different cultures. We’ve fought our urges to just run away and leave everything behind. We’ve both realized we fought battles, so many battles within that it would only be a waste of victory if we quit. Together we have drowned deep down the ocean, but we always managed to swim our way up to the shore and sunshine. It’s always a rewarding feeling, stronger love when we did. I can’t wait to celebrate the 5 year mark! My mom has always said, if two people survived the first 5 years of a relationship, they’re always set for the next five. And every five years a challenge will always rise, and I believe we will always conquer all!
“Used to sing about the mountains but the mountains washed away”
The title is a line from the song “The Ocean” by Led Zeppelin.
The following is a random crude thought. So if you feel like you’re reading unconnected thoughts, well maybe because you are! I believe love relationships are very similar to those relationships we have with children (or between siblings), of course with the slight degree in difference.
When a mother or father raises a child, they invest a lot of emotions in this baby. They spend long time caring for this being, educating and nurturing it. They put huge efforts into bringing up this human safely with love “unconditionally”. Yet, once this human grows (complexes in) up to be an individual with thoughts opinions and mistakes, they still continue on loving him/her despite the obvious objection to what he/she now are! Either they don’t like their kids choices or they don’t approve their behaviors. This huge investment they’ve made during their kids’ childhood, in my opinion, is what makes them tolerate their kids bullshit. The emotional drain they experience when their child drains them emotionally and mentally, is what makes it hard for them to let go and “break up” with their fucked up child.
Now think of Love relationships. Think of the beginnings where we invest a great deal of emotions, a great deal of thought and planning. We put forward our best to be with someone we chose. Similarly, we nurture one another, we depend on each other, we learn about the world together. Therefor, a lot of intra-and-inter-personal education takes place. Then love also matures and complexes, and what happens is very similar to the previous. Partners rearrange priorities, commit mistakes, grow individually, and search for happiness resumes. And once, we’re struck with the reality of incompatibility (or we stop working on being compatible), we find it hard to let go. Walking away seem like a bitter choice that we’re not willing to take. For the same exact reason, a lot of time and emotion have been invested, and we’re not willing to lose “everything” we’ve risked!
