“when the sun falls into the sea …

UNAVAILABLE

 

when all is gone

will Love abide her suicide

when all is gone?


The title is a line from the song “When All Is Gone” by Aaron Embry

“When will those dark clouds all disappear”

The title is a line from the Rolling Stones’ Angie.

My whole weekend is themed “The Rolling Stones”. I never really liked them. I’ve always thought they were too loud for me. But a couple of days ago, I was shown many mellow Stones songs. So I used my husband’s record collection to listen to some.


My life lately has been a great contrast! 

This is the quickest painting I have ever painted. It only took me 20 minutes to finish. I wasn’t in the mood to paint. I already had two previous fail attempts. I didn’t have the motivation. I am going through a time of my life where I am experiencing extreme mood swings. When It felt like I am getting somewhere with this one, I decided to call it. I didn’t want to ruin it. I could have continued, but I didn’t wanna micro-detail it, then I’d probably end up with a messed one, because I am not patient.


“With no lovin’ in our souls
And no money in our coats
You can’t say we’re satisfied
Angie, I still love you baby
Everywhere I look I see your eyes
There ain’t a woman that comes close to you
Come on baby dry your eyes
Angie, Angie ain’t good to be alive
Angie, Angie, we can’t say we never tried”

“Bathed in Blue,

… the walls of my memory divides the thorns from the roses; it’s you and the roses” – Afterglow, INXS

SOLD 


The hardest thing I had to paint is this self-portrait. It didn’t take me that long to finish it. But depicting reality and portraying myself is a very personal experience. Not only did I have to see myself the way people do, with my wide nose and a gap between my front teeth, but I also had to paint the way I feel, the noise in my head and my deepest secrets.

Physique flaws are less painful when compared to the pain you feel when depressed. Feeling blue creates so much noise inside the head, you start believing there’s no such thing as silence. The pain kills your neurons in a battle you fight all day long. You lie at the end of the defeated on bed, trying to sleep but your wounds are too painful they’re gushing into brain. You lose sleep. You also lose the will to do your job. The only thing you know how to do is do more thinking, fight battles within your head, try to survive and stay alive.

The only thing keeping you from running away is knowing that tomorrow is another battle another chance for winning!

 

 

“The blues they send to meet me Won’t defeat me”

The title is a line from the song “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head” by B. J. Thomas

This shows exactly how much I am slacking on learning & practicing new techniques. I usually watch videos and clips of paintings, tutorials of certain artists explaining how they do things. I some times read blogs to understand how to position my brush and mix mediums. However, lately I have been suffering of painter’s block (if there’s such thing).

I get this mental block when I don’t empty energy tanks! This is the third weekend in a row I don’t go out or feel the need to communicate with people. You may wonder how is that related. I draw when I am in distress. I paint when I feel like the need to retreat back into myself. Going out and interacting with people (although fun) drains my energy out. So I would need to lose myself into canvass and color. I self-study and try to open up my mind to new challenges that don’t involve people! I need go out. I need people to not to want to interact with people!

 

“& show your love for Lady Nature & she will come back again”

RESERVED 


The title is a line from the song “Down by the Seaside” by Led Zeppelin 

I am still experimenting with colors other than blues and greens. Obviously I am still greatly attached to the shades of blue. It’s just so pretty on canvas and I bought a lot of it! I am also still looking for a gallery to contact to showcase my art. I still prefer showcasing in Saudi Arabia. Yet I wouldn’t mind one over here in California. Please any help is appreciated. Thanks!

“Trade winds find Galleons lost in the sea, I know where treasure is waiting for me”

The title is from the song Spanish Caravan by The Doors.

I started my day perfectly. I woke up at 7:00 in the morning, no alarm set to go off. I got my 8 hours of sleep. I made me a royal egg breakfast. I fueled myself with a whole pot of coffee, all by myself!

I self-studied about the German philosopher Immanuel Kant. I then decided to prepare myself a delicious Asian meal consisting of noodles and broccoli beaf! My day was going so well. I even shared a video of myself on YouTube. I also shared what I learned about Kant with my follower on Twitter.

After my meal, I painted the painting above. I struggled working on it. Again, it’s because I lack patience. I am in a good mood so far. When all of a sudden I decided to watch a documentary about the people who committed suicide jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge!

The 2006 film is available on YouTube under the title The Bridge. The family and friends of those who jumped recite the narrative. The real footage of those who jumped are shown over and over throughout the movie. Every time someone jumps, my heart sank inside my ribcage. The feeling I was left with after the movie ended was of disgust. I felt I was so close to seeing my dinner coming out in reverse!

It’s a shocker how oblivious we are to the state of mind of those who are close to us. It’s a scary thought that I wouldn’t know about what goes on inside my friends’ brains or my family’s heads! The unspeakable thoughts that they can hide so well. The cry of help is not a crystal clear one! It’s so subtle and most of the time we miss it. They all missed in the movie! I can’t comprehend the reason that would let anyone act selfishly and decide to take their lives. They leave their loved one filled with anger! I know that what I would feel if, God forbid, this happens to me!

Lesson of today, don’t ruin your beautiful resting lazy day with a documentary so surreal, it leaves you depressed!