… the walls of my memory divides the thorns from the roses; it’s you and the roses” – Afterglow, INXS
The hardest thing I had to paint is this self-portrait. It didn’t take me that long to finish it. But depicting reality and portraying myself is a very personal experience. Not only did I have to see myself the way people do, with my wide nose and a gap between my front teeth, but I also had to paint the way I feel, the noise in my head and my deepest secrets.
Physique flaws are less painful when compared to the pain you feel when depressed. Feeling blue creates so much noise inside the head, you start believing there’s no such thing as silence. The pain kills your neurons in a battle you fight all day long. You lie at the end of the defeated on bed, trying to sleep but your wounds are too painful they’re gushing into brain. You lose sleep. You also lose the will to do your job. The only thing you know how to do is do more thinking, fight battles within your head, try to survive and stay alive.
The only thing keeping you from running away is knowing that tomorrow is another battle another chance for winning!