I sit on a couch, with my hands on my knees, and my back is straight, in a dimly-lit room. I stare with my eyes wide open at the blank gigantic screen in front of me! “who the hell needs a TV this big” I think to myself. I can hear the clock on the wall ticking! I wish I can break and pull out this thin stupid hand that supposedly is counting seconds! MY fucking wasted seconds; just sitting here covered in darkness! As my mind jumps from one thought to another, I start thinking whether or not I have the ability to think with only one half of my brain; left or right hemisphere “Can I decide which of them functions at a certain time? I probably couldn’t! Or maybe I can, maybe I am? If I never know, how the hell could anyone know?” I tell myself. I see a thaumatrope; a gift from my grandmother. I grab it and I start spinning the ends of the thin thread attached to the circle shaped paper with surprisingly, what it seems to be so insipid; a hummingbird in one side, and a cage on the other. I know I am now seeing a bird trapped in a cage, and the more I spin, the more stuck the unfortunate bird is! I chuckle! And I stop spinning! The bird is now FREE! I spin it again and again the bird is trapped! I stop, bird free! I spin, bird caged! A simple but so powerful idea! Brilliantly, whoever made this wanted people to believe it is acceptable to encage hummingbirds! I surely now think of the Victorian era, when these thaumatropes were first invented. “Am I thinking with my right or left brain hemisphere, now?” I think. What if jumping from one thought to another means that our thoughts are being thrown from one side to another in a 1-2 passing style, taking turns, so the brain doesn’t collapse? Possible? NO? “Oh well, I tried!”.
I stand up. I must rid myself of these mad thoughts! After all, I only make sense to myself! So no need to think of thoughts I already agree with, thoughts I never question, and thoughts I shamefully am proud of. I turn the lights off; better no light than dim! Now I walk around in complete darkness, hoping my eyes adjust quickly! Else I am … ”SHIT!!!” I bleed!